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4 Feb

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4 Feb

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Protected: I’m Back & Thought I’d have some beers and talk about how I lost my virginity.

18 Jun

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Bad Week

30 Apr

It’s not a good week for me.
It’s pretty much the start of rock bottom. Again.

I just want to be a together self sufficient independent person. Once I get there I know I’ll be so happy and so able to give so much more of me to others.

I suppose the only thing I can do is try harder to get to that place sooner.

I just need to not panic, like I usually
do.

Northport Pier

8 Apr

On slated wood that ends
Under a roof without walls
Surrounded by
Water
It was the Sound
Of Long Island
The jellyfish
Came in
They looked
Pretty dead
Clear and yet purple
And moving
Yet unable
But it was all
Beautiful
Because
We saw them
With our sets
Of brown
And blue.
We loved it as a show
That nature often is
And it’s not so
Different
From an open
casket.

Too many thoughts To Keep

8 Mar

I’m on some type of mute
I shake out
Look around
And go back in

I feel conditioned
I’m almost happy here

But inside almost
Is where hell is born

When you’re me, you’ll understand

22 Feb

I don’t dream of diamond rings
I don’t dream of over the top weddings
I hardly care too much for fashion these days. I admire but try not to be a consumer. I don’t dream of love the way I used to or passion. It’s beautiful when it’s big, when its that big giant feeling bubbling up inside of you. But it is fleeting. You could chase it your entire life. It’s a drug. The real love is the quiet kind that you learn to respect, the kind that sees you everyday…and doesn’t mind being around, it’s just the type of thing when everyone leaves your someone will stay. I suppose to stay is to love to me. I don’t dream of big mansions, I’d be happy with a simple sweet home, I don’t dream of traveling the world, I wouldn’t mind it but I know how to find adventure here inside myself. I do dream of peace. I do dream of healing. I do dream of being alone. I dream of being safe. I dream of being myself. I dream about ideas & thoughts I haven’t yet thought. I dream about writing one great something. I dream about home office spaces. I dream about the day I no longer have clutter, the day I no longer have anything that isn’t completely necessary. I dream about the day I make enough money to fully & completely support myself with a little bit extra to do nice things for my friends & family. I dream of no debt, I dream of no rent. I dream too short and too practical. I dream to one day dream bigger.

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